What to say, what to say?

Tonight I discovered that one of my pretty good friends from high school is engaged. Engaged, can you imagine that? I've only been out of high school 2 and a half years. Its all well and good when its somebody you don't know, but when it is one of the people that was actually close to you, you sorta stop and wonder what is going on in this world. I guess I just sort of assume that since I don't feel old enough to be getting married, other people my age would feel the same way =)

Anyways, this has served to make me rather depressed (I think that I am overusing that phrase.) Of course for the obvious reason of her being engaged and me being jealous in a sort of jealous, but not really jealous at all, yet still slightly bothered because she is my age sort of way. But also because it made me realize how out of touch with some of these people I am. I just sort of stumbled across the news that she was engaged. If these had been people that I had only known throughout high school, it would be okay, but most of my friends from David Douglas I went to school with all the way through -- from elementary to high school. I have known a lot of them since 6th grade, some since 3rd grade and even a couple since 1st. We experienced everything together... mean teachers, band competitions, hard classes, band trips to Disneyland, solo/ensemble contests, horrible AP assignments, Aalberg!!! Not to mention the trials of just growing up and making it through school. I have gone through so much of my life with them always there, but it made me sad to realize that I don't even know what is going on with them now.

I understand that people and circumstances and times change and you cannot always stay in contact, despite your best attempts. But have I even attempted? Probably not. If I was to be a big baby about it, I would blame it all on moving to Seattle and how I got torn from my friends before my senior year and they all had an extra year together and they are now all at UO and so on and so forth, yadda yadda yadda. But that probably is not a good reason, its just an excuse. Its sorta tough to realize that your life is changing and you have to figure out how to incoporate these people into that new and grown-up life. How much do you want to contact them? How much time do you want to spend seeing them? How much do you actually care about what goes on in their lives? Are they to just be one of those people that you send a Christmas card to every year with an update letter in it and call it good? I don't know. I will let you know when I figure it out. And I have the annoying feeling that this is going to become a problem for college too... I know!! Never make friends, then you will never have this problem? *Sigh* I am going to bed... I have become too cynical for my own good.